The Evil Network

I have this persistent scowl on my face ever since i came home for the summer.I can't get it off my face even though i try to get rid of it sometimes.To tell you the truth,i'm not sure if i even want to get rid of it.I see a million faults in everything's that happening around me.I have hardly seen anything of late that i can even mildly appreciate.Of course everything is not worth appreciating and the sheer stupidity of some things drives me to madness.They refer to the television(Tv)as the 'idiot box'.I don't agree.They should call it the goddamn-motherfucking-son of all bitches shit-box.
The amount of crap flowing on Tv can put the Mumbai sewage system to shame.You have these absolutely horrible,so called 'tearjearker' shows.Tearjearker!my ignoble ass.The stupidity of these people frustrates me,makes me want to chew up my own balls.You have young women playing 40 something's,wearing heavy-duty makeup and of course,crying glycerine all day and yeah to top it all,the very fashion conscious ladies live in a village.It's an insult to common-sense.I can imagine that maybe the assholes who make these programmes haven't been to a village but i don't believe that they were all orphans.Some of them may have had proper parents.I guess maybe their mom's were always dressed up day and night,waiting for a chance to commit adultery with their friendly neighbourhood uncle.Fuck them.
And now to my favourite part.MTV!!Dumb has never been so big.MTV personifies dumb.It's to the dumb,for the dumb and by the dumb.To the people who watch MTV- Roadies or Splitsvilla,you guys are,i must say it,MORONS.And i say this to anyone who's a Roadie fan.I'll say again,you're a moron and an asshole.I wish i could take a long and thick iron rod,shove it down your ass and thermally expand it(the rod moron,your ass has a very poor thermal conductivity,it will shrivel and burn without expanding).The same 'cool' guys who watch MTV Roadies scoff at saas-bahu serials.Those bitches and whores who do politics in a pseudo-joint-loving family domain are not very different from the assholes on Roadies who do it in a custom made enviornment.And atleast the poor bitches are mostly acting from a script.Roadies is entertainment in the cheapest form,quite akin to those crass American pie movies and it's not even funny.You get socially inept,politically incorrect bimbos and pricks,put them in a confined environment and watch them calling each other names and pretending to be smartasses.And this particular ode is to the asshole who runs the show.
May thee balls off,
thy mutter(ger. mother) be raped by a rabid dog
and thy brother
well i hope,he just dies.
When MTV started in the 80's it was seen as a sign of growing decadence of the american society.The USSR was in shambles,communism was coming to an end and the American economy was growing at a steady pace since the lows of the 70's.The country's youth were getting richer,fatter and naturally dumber.MTV was born to cater to this growing audience.It started by popularizing classic dirty-metal bands like motley crue and the rejuvenated Ozzy osbourne(the same guy who was in the Osbournes a decade later).The videos starring big-boobed and wide assed barenaked ladies(pun intended)were instant hits.This was followed by miss Madonna singing on the loss of virginity,sex with jesus and her conical bras.The 90's had britney,christina,the bootylicious beyonce's and the nigga rappers.With the addition of shows such as Jackass,MTV became the embodiment of the minds of the American youth-dirty,crass and lacking any sense of morality.
That's why i say that MTV is more evil than all the saas-bahu serials combined together.Don't believe in the false youth-icon programs,the red-ribbon concerts and fukintine-day celebrations.It's an evil network and it will continue to be.
Well,it seems tha i have spewed enough venom for today.I'll save some for the next post.And if you in any way feel offended by the content of this post,please do not write to me,read the header and fuck off.GoodBye.

Infinite Sadness

Ever wished that you could find a reason to be sad.Happiness is everywhere.Some think that it's tough to find but actually it's not.You're talking to someone.There's happiness when you talk,when you walk on the street,you see new things-a new billboard,people,children you feel the happiness surrounding you.To be unhappy or sad you have to be alone and then a part of you which you don't even think exists,starts to talk.You begin to feel the loneliness around you and you begin to wonder why.Do you want to be sad ? Some people may say no,maybe most of them but in the a deep corner of your heart or say the mind,you want to feel the loneliness sometime.Separate yourself from friends,people,your loved ones and begin to think of yourself.What am i doing here?Yes I'm living my life but for what exactly.I may be successful,i may end up a total wreck but how exactly does it matter.
Yes you think of the people around you,what they think of you but then you find yourself facing the eternal truth.You're parents,family,friends are just tiny elements in this process of life and death.Remove these tiny links from the polymer of life.It won't make a difference at all.The process will run as it has since forever.Now you get a better view.Me,myself and the world around me.What do we want from each other.Yes i may be insignificant for you but i can somehow affect you.You are as mortal as i am and maybe you need me more than i need you.
Maybe these are stupid questions.Maybe no one asks these questions but I do and i still look for answers.And then i feel sad because actually i don't understand what is the reason for my existence.Again i may be anything but that anything will be shared by millions,maybe billions of people.That shouldn't be the reason.My maternal grandfather died last year.I hadn't seen him for two years till his death.He lived a simple life.Most of the people around him liked him.Then he died leaving behind nothing.Maybe a legacy that only a few people will remember.If there is an afterlife he may be looking down on his stay here through a time-vessel analyzing the significance of his existence.Maybe there's a counter,a probabilistic model which tells the score of your existence,your being or not being,how it affects the world.
Don't get me wrong here.I'm not saying Gandhi or hitler will have a very high score on this model.Maybe they wouldn't.It's a totally independent,unbiased test of life not depending on public opinion or star quotient.Maybe a farmer in the hinterlands of India scores more than all world leaders combined.Maybe his life encompasses all that we were actually supposed to do.Lead a simple,uncomplicated life,keeping people around us happy.Maybe to feel the wind on our face,the moon in the night was actually the thing for us but we ended up mired in things which were never the basis of living.
I take a walk and i begin to see things for what they are.The movie poster with the painted faces on them is actually a tree which used to stand somewhere in some time,i know not when,people used to sit under it to protect themselves from the sun-that very orangy mass which we have forgot to see from under our rocks.The black mat under your feet is actually an apparel we dressed the earth with like we dressed ourselves.Maybe it didn't want to get dressed.Maybe we have done something we can never change and i feel sad again.I don't have a time capsule.If i had one,i would have analyzed existence,learnt lessons which have been so unsuccessfully missed by our great thinkers.And no,i can't and i feel sad again.
Yeah and it's a really long one.I have got bored myself.Maybe it's all crap.Maybe i will never think about it again because i won't have the time or solitude.But i am not the one to draw conclusions and maybe there's no conclusion.If you can,then make your own.

Why Individualism Scuks

If there was ever a guy named god,i say that he's undoubtedly the biggest asshole of all time.And who comes second,all the guy who believe in him and go to those places of hypocrisy which i say, should be replaced by lavatories and whorehouses for the general good.Why do we need religion?In the name of religion thousands of people get massacred each year and blah,blah,blah.I'm not hear to talk about it.Human beings(idiots) have an intrinsic tendency of wanting to kill each other.Some say they'll do it,some actually do it and they have been doing this since time immemorial and will keep on doing it till the shit comes to an end.Don't blame the Muslim warriors of faith(commonly referred to as terrorists).They're doing what their ancestors did for money,power,women etc.etc.Well it's a means of livelihood for them and entertainment for us.
What do people read news for.Your stupid anglophile teacher(the bitch) will say-"to keep yourself abreast with whatever's happening in YOUR world".I'll say- Entertainment.That's what news is for.Do you think people will be interested in listening to the news about our turbaned,lacking-a-personality prime-minister giving a discourse on the contribution of science & technology to the development of our great nation(Saare jahaan se Achha).That's something which is also news and it's also shown(believe me)on our terminally ill national network(Doordarshan).What grabs the news?Qasab & co kill some hundred people in India's tinsel-town.
"Cyclone kills 110 in china"-That's not too many.Anyways i hate those fucking yellow-skinned morons trying to fill our markets with their cheap,toxic stuffs.
"100 biharis killed in assam in the past year"-Light.Who gives a fuck about the bloody biharis.There are already too many.100 won't make a hell of a difference.
So now i praise the muslim warriors for providing us with continuous,unbridled,exhilarating entertainment for so many years.We thought Eiffel tower fell only in movies.They did it.'Woahh'-Never thought i would see it in my own life.Did you see how it fell.Awesome man.I wish i could have been there.I could have made some serious cash if just had a videocam.
The symbol of the great american dream fell and the world was agonized beyond saving.Sardar kids in amritsar lit up candles for the painful departed in the world's greatest city.Many of their dads(aspiring taxi-drivers in the land of the fair or the free west as the asshole called Tolkien once wrote)cried out for those who died.Back home some,I'm not sure how many, maybe some 100,000 people died in a long forgotten place called kashmir over a period of some 20 years(That's 5000 a year if you are a guy of averages).But dad wasn't going to drive a taxi in Srinagar.So Little Baljit didn't care.
So i come back to religion.We have a tendency of dividing ourselves in groups.Individualism is OK as long as you're a part of a group.A group of friends,a group of christians,a group of niggas.These are all groups and they all have a common pattern of formation.Birds of a feather flock together-that's what i say and i don't care to say anymore.But one thing,my religion,i take it as seriously as my orkut group and it isn't anything more than that.
Simplifying things can often help you.The complicated D'Alembert's principle is after all Newton's law wearing a wig.

FukinTine Day

Today is the auspicious day called "St. FukinTine day".Do I care about this day ?Of course I do.Every guy with his dick in the right place cares about this day.Then why am i writing this post ? No idea except that i want to say some something, about this phenomenon inspired by the bravado of the lecherous monk called 'Fukintine'.Well even if you are a hardcore pessimist like me you do feel a ray of hope on this day.Maybe some miracle will happen.A good-natured girl with a soft corner for single,unattractive guys comes to you,offers her hymen to you to devour.Or maybe you muster up courage and go and propose the beautiful,lonely,self-righteous who doesn't give a damn' about norms girl who always had a soft-spot for you and was just waiting to for you to make an advance and as the story goes,she agrees.You fall in love and fuck happily everafter.
I wish to say something about this Ram-sena or Shiv-sena or the dozens of organizations that magically crop up near this day.These groups are i must say, not to sound very harsh 'irritating' but i can't say the same about the intellectual mortals who respond to their crap.I myself have got bored of this junta's indignation to these people."Go get a life",''Unemployed morons","Losers who could never land a girl",etc. etc. The bashing of these organizations have become so regular and the catchphrases i hear have become so monotonous that i wish to say this to the educated junta-"Go get a FUCKIN' life.Get something else to do.Love can get you all sweaty and euphoric but it doesn't buy you a meal-A wise man (I think we all have an idea about the wise man) once said.".On valentine's day(I wish you could see the contorted features of my face right now-A pure,unadulterated scowl.) i suggest the lady and the man go to some private place.Express your love in a place where nobody gives a fuck abut you.Why hang around in a public park.Why do you want your love to be shared by unwilling people who haven't paid for the sightseeing.In the name of love, it sometimes does get too embarrasing for people who still can't talk about sex and kissing with their parents/kids.Go to a cinema hall,go to a library(that's what people do at my place).If you have the money and available infrastructure you can even go to a Disc and waste the hard-earned money of your dad on some ungrateful bitch(Maybe grateful if she provides you with the thing you actually spent the money for).Or go to khajuraho.This valentine day attend a class on love in its purest form(though short-lived).
Personally I don't blame the Ram-sena.Matter of fact their inspiration,Ram himself was a prude.He & wife were separated for some time in their 14 years odyssey but on return only the lady was subjected to some kind of post-marital virginity test.Why didn't the guy get himself tested.I don't know.Maybe it was because he was the guy.He may have had multiple relationships with Sabri,Roma and god knows who, but his integrity was beyond question.On the other hand Shiv was himself known to be a classified 'THARKI' and his love-sessions are the stuff of legends(Consult the puranas).A word of advice: if you & your friends want to start a new group and you've thought of a name ,do some background research before settling on it.You don't want to be called the Krishna-sena and found opposing V'day celebrations.
About the people in the news.Mrs. Renuka Choudhary.There are a few bitches in the world i hate with such single-minded determination than the pudgy-faced whore.If i ever meet the bitch minus her security guards, i'll beat her brain to pulp with a log,slap her multiple times and piss on her face my yellowest possible urine.The bitch has such an obsessive compulsion to stay in the limelight that she'll even get her two young bitches to marry a Muslim just for the fun of it.She's a true sycophant who's policies and ideals change as fast as her lingerie brand.I remember she was in the TDP once before she changed ship to the Congress(The masturbating Palm one).Rest is history.She's now women and child affairs minister with an abysmal record and her claim to fame being her support of the all-important festival of Love.Fuck her.
Aise,enough for today.And if you expected conclusions, well you'll have to make your own.See you next time if any of you prefers to come back(I don't expect many but if you do, then i'll have to say bit grudgingly though,You're Welcome.